Does life gets worse than job applications? I don't think so.
I have been stuck for the past 3 hours on a very simple yet awfully complicated question: describe a personal project you are most proud of. So far my answer is along the lines of Hello my name is Léa, I'm 25 and I have done nothing with my life. Please give me a job. Then people get like: of course you've done things! You got into the college of your dreams and graduated. You got the internships you wanted. You did that Lord of the rings + The Hobbit marathon. You learned Photoshop, English, movie editing, HTML, knitting… pretty much by yourself. You traveled alone. You went everyday to the gym (for 4 months). You sort of kept this blog alive and more people keep coming to listen to your weird ramblings and see your knitted socks.
But let's be honest, all you think of is: yes that's nice but look at those thousand things I still haven't done! 15 year old me had BIG plans for the 25 years old me. Guess what? None of those plans have come true. But 15 years old me also dressed in black, wrote very depressing poetry and listened to a lot of Britney Spears. Not the wisest. So maybe I should stop listening to her. And make new plans.
The one thing I have learned this last couple of years is that: starting over is freaking hard. Especially when you don't know where to start. Won't stop me from trying though.
ps: I realize that post title includes the promise of socks. So here's one photo for you. I love walking barefoot just as much as I love knitting socks. Life, you're a funny one.
Love this. Am curious what you will write in the end, will you share?
ReplyDeleteI know this struggle! Far too well!!And then I, too, remember that 15 year old me, while fairly awesome, did not have life figured out (nor do I now!!) and all her hopes and dreams relied on others, which of course never works out xD
ReplyDeleteYour socks are beautiful Especially love the grey + yellow one. Lovely combination. :)
Oh how many times I've been there, Lea. Seriously, I'm about to turn 31 (!) and feel like I'm no where, or at least not where I want to be actually I just want to start over and things completely different. Oh well, will we ever have our lives figured out, I don't think so, I try to take the days as they come and be surprised with what they bring. Those socks on your photo look great!
ReplyDeleteI remember reading an article about "changing dreams" a few months ago over at abeautifulmess.com and it was the first time I felt that is was actually ok to start over. trying to keep that in mind!
DeleteI think this is something we learn as we get older. Dreams, plans, goals, they all change. I didn't think I'd even make it to 29. It just seemed so foreign and strange. Yet, here I am.
ReplyDelete(Beautiful socks!)
I'm quite a bit older than you, but I've been there too. When I was a teenager I dressed in black, wrote bad poetry and listened to Morrissey. Sometimes I wonder what happened to that girl - but I have tickets to see Morrissey here in March, so I guess I haven't lost all of me! I'm wishing you all the best with the job hunt and the plans and the keeping hold of some of that teenage hope
ReplyDeleteBet you never thought you'd turn into such a talented knitter
never in a million year! makes me wonder what kind of crazy hobby I'll have in 10 years now!
DeleteOh yes, I've had one of those days (or two or three...) here too!
ReplyDeleteTrying to fill in a wonderfully long form - oh la paperasse à la française - which requires me to come up with and define my "projet de vie". Sounds just as fun as your own form!
Thank goodness we have knitting, non? x
oh oui! we sure do love words and papers in France! ;)
DeleteI know of these struggles! We are all rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteLove all the socks. :)